i should have something better to talk about than dying my hair. anybody that has met me that remembers what i look like with my natural hair colour? steven never knew me with my natural hair colour and i want to see it agian but it is really sucking because the last time i dyed it red i think it bleached it to get it that light so it is part dark brown (my real hair color--which i would love to be for just a minute of five right now) and part this wierd blond brown color. it has been so long...so i have a box of red hair dye. cause all the browns they have at the store are no where near mine and i would like to go black but i have been told it didnt suit me im not sure red does either. but i just need a change. the alternative would just be cutting off everything that is not the natural color but that would only leave me with about 2 inches of hair all around.. and steven wouldnt like that. though i always wondered how awful i would look like with short short hair.

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i know i am posting in a different journal. i dont know how long it will last but the other one wasnt working for me today. sorry.

i've been reading anais nin and writing to myself a lot lately and then throwing away the evidence [deletedeletedelte goes the mara beast] cause it just feels hollow. but when i read on my breaks and sometimes before i go to bed or when i wake up it makes me wonder and it makes me happy. i didnt realized i had missed reading an author that i think in the same style that they write until now. it just makes my heart beat good.
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so tomorrow is my day of rest and then i work friday and have off saturday :)
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i am so looking forward to fall.
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tonight i got steven and i thai food. im still full, i suppose it doesnt help that i feed myself chocolate too though.
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i am tired like something awfully good. i will get better at this again. i think it is the name. but i promised steven i would keep it. but i forget how long. does anyone else get as annoyed as him by this constant follow the leader? perhaps i will go back to bloodblooms. perhaps.

the cold weather has confused the trees and there were turned wet leaves on the bike path today. and it felt so so nice. so good. and.. i felt... lucky.

lately ive been...
gaining 3 lbs.
painting a dragon fly on a kite.
making secret goals.
working...(my fifth day in a row is over-two more to go)
buying A LOT. (3 pairs of black pants/1 sweater/iron on transfer paper/cd's/1 black blouse/1 "i went to middle earth and all i got was this crummy ring..." t-shirt/my saint medals/food (i finnally at at chaing mai thai!--it was scrumptious--and i stole a pen!)/one pair of underwear/and a scarf/oh and two pair of shoes/knitting needles/a cool orange velevet vintage jacket that i am going to turn into a bag.) whoa.
hurting my knee on my bike.
knitting.. i dont know what it is going to be yet.
making messes.... that about sums it up.
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so i am tired. and a little bored... i wish i had off a couple days in a row soon. but i think the soonest that will be happening is the time i took off for stevens birthday (sept 4th) and my parents are already trying to eat that up with garage sales and the state fair. and all i really want to do is chill out for a week and accomplish projects that begin in my head and then just lay about and mad at me for not using them.
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i hate to say it but i am liking my job lately, watch tomorrow it will suck more asses than anything and i will hate it or i will get fired for some unknown reason or something bad will just happen because that is just how it works. but you never know. sometimes. things change.

The weather is usually 80% of your conversation.

When you say "down south" you're referring to Iowa.

You call highways "freeways."

Snow tires came standard on your car.

You've never taken public transportation.

75% of your graduating high school class went to the University of
Minnesota.

"Perkins" was the only hangout option in high school.

You assume when you say "The Cities" people know where you're talking about.

You can list all the "-dales."

People from other states love to hear you say words with "o"s in them.

In a conversation you've heard someone say "yah sure, you betcha" and you
didn't laugh.

You could pinpoint exactly where each(well not each of them but a good few) scene in the movie "Untamed Heart" was
filmed.

You hate the movie "Fargo" but realize you and your entire family have that
same accent.

You get mad at people who think Fargo is in Minnesota.

You know what Mille Lacs is and how to spell it.

You have fish boiled in lye for Christmas.

You know what "uff-da" means and how to use it properly.

You know the 2 sports-related reasons why we hate Dallas.

Nothing gets you madder than seeing a Green Bay sticker on a MN car.

The only reason you go to Wisconsin is to get fireworks.

You're a loyal Target shopper.

You've frozen your tongue on a metal handrail before.

You own an ice house, a snowmobile, and a 4 wheel drive vehicle.

You wear shorts when it's 50 degrees outside in March,
but you bundle up and complain in August when it goes below 60.

You have gone trick-or-treating in 3 feet of snow.

You've not only walked across a lake, you've driven across one.

Everyone you know has a cabin or, at least, access to one.

You know that Lake Wobegon isn't real and you know who made it up, where
they live, and exactly what you want to do about it.

You have friends who schedule their wedding in the middle of January without a thought
about weather conditions.

You consider a six inch snowfall a blessing for "the cities" because it provides instant urban renewal.

You keep the snow tires on your truck all year because it ain't worth taking them off for only two months.

Your local Dairy Queen is closed from December through February.

You believe the only REAL vehicles have skis in front and a loud motor under your seat.

You consider snow banks to be "just another rough" on the golf course.

You have worn shorts and a parka at the same time.

You were delighted to get a miniature snow shovel for your 3rd birthday.

Your town isn't trying to be ironic when it plans a "winter carnival."

The temperature in March is above freezing for three days in a row, and you think it's summer.

You laugh out loud every time you see a news report about a blizzard shutting down the entire East Coast.(however, i get very upset sometimes too cause they seem to get more snow than us lately)

You think happiness is owning a "piece of lakeshore."

You never meet any celebrities except The "BODY"

You know what and where "Dinkytown" is.

When you talk about "opener" you are not talking about cans.

You have refused to buy something because it's too "spendy."

You believe that the Vikings would have won four Super Bowls by now if they were still playing in
Metropolitan Stadium.

You are convinced the Twins will never win the pennant because the owners are too cheap to pay
the good players, so they all leave.

Your town has an equal number of bars and churches.

You grew up thinking rice was only for dessert.
You think that ketchup is a little too spicy.

Your gas station thinks "full service" means filling your gas tank, washing the windshield,
checking the oil and being friendly to the customers.

You (or your parents) voted for Mondale.

You've seen "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" in Uptown.

You know that everyone has a city preference -- Minneapolis or St. Paul.

You can honestly claim Germanic / Scandinavian ancestors, and have been known to say
"ya" instead of "yes"

Upon seeing an ocean for the first time, you say, "Hey! That looks like Lake Superior!"

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..cause i always thought a path to heaven would be sort of like going backwards.

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i really like this shirt, it was in this store space on display near my work a couple months ago. oh and doesnt that other picture almost look like someone made a window that just went straight through and you could see the sky? it grows on me in a wierd way.

remember how a tornado tried to touch us on mothers day?

normally it is pretty quiet around here, but for about 5 minutes i heard some woman screaming furiously and alot of banging below me like doors slamming multiple times really quickly. i look out the window and no one is there thinking maybe she is in the street? but apparently not. she is still going on off and on and the banging continues...i wonder if it was that woman that i saw down stairs that one time that told me she was waiting for her husband girlfriend...